4/2/09.. 1:06 am

The pad on her pointer finger ran down the set of seven cuts on her stomach- one for each day of the week, the deadly sins, and wonders of the ancient world. These examples held no significance to their etchings however. Their existence was simply product of hate. The hate she had for others, her situation, and most of all her self. Her inability to deal with life like a normal person could, her weaknesses; this addiction she had to seeing a physical manifestation of her emotional pain. The amazement she felt watching the beads of blood accumulate into small streams sickened the small part of her that was "right". With a sense of morbid curiosity she scratched off the scabs with the same finger, wanting to see proof of her life. Craving verification that although it didn't seem to matter to anyone else, she was indeed quite alive.
Oh yes, she knew there was something deeply wrong with her. She knew it wasn't healthy. She knew people were sent to mental hospitals for things like this. What she didn't know was how to stop. She had an idea, a spark that occurred to her while watching the redness flow. Maybe, when she cut herself deep enough to see what inside made her so god damned different, she could stop.


I'm not sure how I like the ending.
my other choice is
".....what inside made her so god damned different, she'd be permitted to quit this pattern of self mutilation."

I think I like what I went with when I posted it, because choice 2 seems too scientific, and we're dealing with emotion primarily in this section.

opinions? what would you choose?